Farty Pants

He breezed in through the door
With a smile upon his face
But he had been announced
By a fragrance of distaste

He announced that he had farted
as if it were his pride and joy
He thought that it was so funny
Like he was some silly billy boy

as if to emphasise it
As if once were not enough?
He cocked his leg and trumpeted
with a blast both loud and rough

Prideful was he of the smell
Like it was some sweet perfume
Rotten eggs it smelled to me
from a flatulent baboon!

Not content with just the noise
He then waved it all around
Fouling up the ozone lair
like the cow market in the town

He blamed it on the cooking
That his wife had made for him
As he belched to emphasise the point
the noxious odour was quite grim

Oh joy of fart, from an old fart
Such glee to flatulate
simple minds are well amused
while we gasp and we prostrate

Soon he left, to go his way
But he left one thing behind
Me gasping like a fish in air
from the odour of his Behind!

Rod Macfarlane

Goodbye Cruel World(The last letter of a drowning man)

No one saw the final straw
which broke the camels back
Nor the breath that snuffed the candle
to make the night turn dark

No one heard the silence
within the crowded room
Nor the tears which fell from the lonely cheek
all were droplets without tune

No one perceived the quick parade
of jumbled thoughts in flight
nor saw the darkness of the moon
when its fullness reflected light

No one saw for no one cared
and no one thought to ask
” How are you this morning”?
as i set about my final task

Some may think me selfish
some may rage at my last deed
But, alone I was,when I needed them
When my pleas they would not heed

They heard the joke, they saw the smile
which never reached my eyes
they mocked at my ambition
and tut tutted with their sighs

I leave this place unwanted
and I am happy just to go
I’ve had enough of this wasted world
and this life which grieves me so

You can keep your petty wars and greed
all the selfishness of man
I’ve given all, now I’m giving in
I have made my final stand

And so I take, my leave and go
I have given up the fight
and leave this lonely place I know
to face my Final Night.

Rod Macfarlane

NOTE: Before some folk start calling or messaging me. NO, I am not feeling suicidal!
Although this is written in the first person, I am NOT writing about me.
What I am doing with this bleak subject, is trying to get under the thoughts of someone who has finally snapped, and can see no way out.
Nor, do I have any particular person in mind!
No matter who depressed or distraught someone way feel at the situation which brings them to snapping point. Suicide is never the answer. It is however final!
There is another way, there is always hope,when it seems to the tortured mind that there is none. So if you are feeling really down, hang in there,another day will be a better one with you in it!

Shake it All Off

Brush it all off
Shake it all down
What goes around
Comes around

You’re stuck in a well
you’re hidden from view
You gotta get out of there
That’s what you’ve got to do

Shake it all off
Brush it all down
Get on with your life
And stop wearing that frown

Let go of the past
It’s no use anymore
You’re at war with yourself
what are you fighting for?

Get out of that place
you aint going nowhere
There’s a path you can take
If you only bit dare

Throw out that junk
It’s been lying too long
All gathering dust
In the bin it belongs

You’ve been thinking all wrong
with your plans and your schemes
You purchased nightmares
when you thought you’d bought dreams

Stop blaming others
when it’s not their fault
and the anger you carry
is full of discord

Brush up your smile
get rid of that frown
Step up to your future
It points up, not down!

Rod Macfarlane

The Earthquake of Moral Bankruptcy

I heard the crying of the children
There was a prayer in their sound
They cried to any God for mercy
As the earthquake came to town

I heard a mother crying
for she had lost her child
when the earthquake shook Haiti
it did not decide by living style

The aftershocks came thick and fast
people falling in their shanty streets
No News or communications
Children and their parents,permanently asleep

In the corrupt war of Afghanistan
Another civilian died today
a roadside bomb,and a foot set wrong
I guess life is cheap some days

More casualties we find at home
Some people who can’t bear their lives
and how their life has all gone wrong
the faceless credit sharks must take their bite

A bomb blew up in Pakistan
On yet another Holy Day
As the crowd marched in procession
The explosion blew their lives away

Still,leeches in our Parliaments
Tell what everyone should do
For they must abuse expenses
To represent me and you

The Bankers want more money
If they’re bust? Then nothings new
What do they care? It’s what they want
And nothing less will do!

Who cares for power or money?
Whose God listens to us now?
200,000 dead on Haiti’s streets
Earthquake takes Presidential Palace down

In this world of fraud and greed
Spending Billions on Banks for Bombs
This earth of Fat Cat’s and their breed
Don’t Care if we are all Haiti Gone!!

Rod Macfarlane

Dream Land of regrets

What might have been and what you could have seen
Who you might have been in your youth fuelled dream
Do not fret ,for it may happen yet
Or you may not rise at all

Did you hear you cry? with such a mournful sigh
Woe be gone begot
Or was the cloth that filled your clogged up ears
fouled by dreams that rot?

Youthful fantasies upon the high seas
of grasses green on the other side
When you took your breath of delusions best
as you jumped into the melting pot

Caesar,Aphrodite,Horatio were you
The true Messiah come to save the world
from its incessant burning stew
Who were you with your eyes of brown
and blue and green and light?
Champion the wonder horse or Superman in flight?

But here you are, a wiser soul
the fires have dwindled out
Instead you smile for a little while
at the new youth in the fold

But do not regret your wasted dreams
nor despair for all that’s lost
as others slavishly follow the flocks
you are still, who they are not!

Rod Macfarlane

What are you doing now?

What are you doing now?
Why the anger? Why the rage?
You are on a different page
What are you doing now?

Is it really down to him?
At the request of your own whim?
Can you tell me what’s the sin?
What are you doing now?

It is easy to criticise
and even yet despise
the way the land does lie
with the gradients it takes

We can all wish for the moon
happiness that came too soon
with a marriage we regret
loves still not happened yet

We can all reach for the stars
or lands which are afar
and wonder where they are?
when we’ve lost our better bet

Life with all its twists and turns
can make our stomache’s sometimes churn
It can make us scream and shout
What is it all about?

But don’t blame someone else
If the jar falls of the shelf
Because they never set it right
and you never saw the light

It’s not down to he or she
It’s not always them, but me
you have the will to find the way
Tomorrow is yet another day

Rod Macfarlane

Best Friends

Best friends in the deepest snow
When the candle will not glow
When all is lost, and you did not know?
you find the friends that you once sowed

You found delusion, in a fog you missed
Loved many times, but never kissed
Lost your way, and your remit
and thats the way life goes

In your hunger ,and through your pain
you lost it all ,and twice again
You lived your life,you thought was done
you thought ice was the morning sun

You despaired, and then you cried
You felt the truth, but then you lied
Who am I to criticise?
When all is said and done!

There is no glory, there’s no shame
No one to punish while you remain
And if life just feels the same?
then your wasted life is done!

What you once thought, was gone and lost
Can melt the snow, and the morning frost
Can warm your heart ,and your repost
when thankfulness has won

Friendship, Love, and tenderness
Is with us all, at our bequest
We exercise it from the nest
Where all of us sprung from

Beyond the mountains,over the seas
Beyond the stars ,and past the breeze
Beyond you, and beyond me
Our friendship love lives on!

Rod Macfarlane

I had a little drink

I had a little drink
It might have been one or two?
It could be three or four?
Maybe five or six would do?

I guess I talked some shit
Some babble to your mind
to me, it all made perfect sense
Illumination in my mind

Did I say I loved you?
In my sober thought forget
I said it once in sobriety
But it’s not happened yet!

How could I ever love someone
Who never really loves the one, who’s me?
I know you say the words sometimes
But is it meant in all honesty?

Drink goes in,and wit goes out
Is it all some figment of my mind?
You bet it is,when I’ve lost my wits
The residue you’ll find !!!

Rod Macfarlane

On Hogmanay

Another year over,another year gone
Another year older,another year done

Say goodbye to the old
Say hello to the new
remember old friends
who were just passing through

look forward , look back
take the lessons you’ve learned
into the new year
with dreams yet to be earned

Holding to close to your heart
all the good that’s in you
as the bells strike midnight
the new year comes on through

raise up your glass
to old friends and new
with a Happy New Year
I’ll link arms with you

take time in that moment
to think of those gone
and all they gave to you
in the loving they done

Then with joy in your heart
for those far and near
wish well for their future
and a Happy New Year

Rod Macfarlane

Getting out and Putting In

You get out ,what you put in
and what you put in,comes back
but if it dont come back,then you wont put in
and that’s just where its at

We all have expectations
of the rewards that we should get
and if we put in the effort
less tax, we want the net!

We wont work for nothing
if we get no reward
financial or emotional
we want held up in regard

Whether it be for love or money
we all expect the pay
for the effort we put into it
if we are going to stay

Why should employers see it differently
are they so naive?
If you don’t get paid for overtime
then employees are bound to leave!

Or why in any marriage
or partnership you’ve got
does your lover think that you’ll remain
if of love you don’t get a lot?

We all have our expectations
In every walk of life
and if their not met,by what we put in
to the ties we take a knife

If we don’t try to make it work
then there’s no use to pretend
our relationship will be no more
or our employment ends

It cuts both ways in love and war
we receive what we beget
and if we wont try and they don’t try
then apathy is what you get

How much is it all worth to you?
In your life or relationship
because whatever’s been put into it
is loss or gain in some courtship

There is no use in complaining
because in all, it cuts both ways
In everything and with everyone
if we want to make it pay

Rod Macfarlane